Becoming a better conversationalist is as simple as focusing on the strongest speakers in your life. So, instead of asking someone if they enjoyed an event, you could ask questions like how they felt about the event or what their favorite parts were. Use these hacks to navigate real-world conversations.
Try getting feedback from a trusted coworker before your weekly team meeting or venture out of your comfort zone while catching up with friends. If you need more support in becoming a better conversationalist, consider resources aimed at helping people develop their language skills, which is a cornerstone of good conversation.
Samuels also suggests joining a local group that will enable you to strengthen your conversation skills. Joining a local chapter can help you build overall confidence in your communication, and it offers networking opportunities.
Meetup groups allow you to attend in-person and virtual events with people who have similar interests. Engaging in conversations about your favorite activities with people who are just as interested may make it a little easier to start conversations. If you prefer virtual meetups, visit websites like Eventbrite to find remote happy hours, paint nights, and speed networking events, all of which are prime opportunities to converse with people.
Instead, engage your listener with one of these topics:. Lucy Samuels is a communication coach and career storyteller at Lucy Samuels Co. She helps corporates and corporate misfits develop the communication confidence to share their professional stories so they can excel in their current work or land new opportunities.
Kaila Kea-Lewis is a career coach and freelance writer, mainly covering career changes, job searching, and self-development.
As a long-time advocate for remote work, she also enjoys writing about remaining productive while working from home. Create a free account to get unlimited access to our articles and to join millions of women growing with the InHerSight community.
Sharing something about yourself invites the other person to open up and respond in turn. Revealing a personal detail is a great conversation-starter and is an equally great way to develop relationships with others. A good conversationalist knows this and they're also aware of how much to share and when to stop.
They know how to begin with an interesting tidbit, such as a favorite book, tv show or sports team. These things aren't overly personal but are very effective at starting conversations that involve getting to know someone. A good conversationalist knows that not all silences are awkward. A lull in the conversation doesn't mean it's fizzled out, necessarily, rather, it could indicate a good time to regroup and prepare for the next wave of discussion.
Silence on the part of the listener is also much appreciated when the speaker is talking. A good conversationalist listens as much, if not more, than they talk. If there is one overarching trait that makes a good conversationalist, it's courtesy. Showing good manners and respect for the other person is the only way to keep a meaningful conversation flowing.
Traits of courteous conversation include refraining from interrupting the speaker, paying full attention to the speaker, avoiding talking excessively about one's self and refraining from looking at their phone.
Related: 11 Ways To Start a Conversation. Participating in conversation is something humans have a natural inclination for, as it's how we learn about one another, discuss ideas and fulfill the need for human interaction. Conversation itself is important to daily life but being a great conversationalist provides a much richer experience for you and the people you converse with and can lead to fulfilling relationships, understanding of each other and innovation.
Conversation stimulates your brain, encourages creativity and connects you with the world. When you become a good conversationalist, you can provide the same enriching experience for the people you speak with, stimulating their brain, encouraging their creativity and connecting with them.
This stimulation can foster improved problem-solving, enhanced contentment and a deeper understanding of topics that you didn't know much about before.
Principle 4 of 10 Timeless Principles to be Happy teaches you how to see the positive over the negative in every situation. Chat, discuss, and trash out ideas, but do so amiably. This means, be sensitive enough to pose questions to the other person if you have been talking for a while see 9. It also means that you should take the initiative to share more about yourself if the other person has been sharing for the most part.
What do you think makes a great conversationalist? How can you apply the 10 rules to be a better conversationalist? Be sure to check out the other articles in the interpersonal communication series below!
Get the manifesto version of this article: 10 Rules of a Great Conversationalist [Manifesto]. Empty Vessels Make the Most Noise. If you like this article, join my newsletter where I share more personal growth insights.
Each week, I send inspirational tips for daily life. Join below. Can you say what you just said in a slightly different way? Be a person of interest by reading and informing yourself on a variety of topics from world affairs to business and culture, says Suzanne Bates, author of All the Leader You Can Be, the Science of Achieving Extraordinary Executive Presence. Being well read allows you to introduce ideas and stories from other domains, adds Levy. This can help them redirect or improve the conversation in the moment, says Parker Ellen , professor of management and organizational development at Northeastern University.
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