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Thanks to Kate Murphy for raising a thought-provoking question. If only there were a clear way to proceed. I find this very helpful. As a pastor and parent who was a youth ministry director for nearly 30 years, I found it a refreshing re-framing of ministry "with" youth.
Let's include youth and support initiatives but not set up a system where their main energy is directed towards their own rights within the system. Mary Bennett. I attend a small church without a youth group. While it might look integrated, it really isn't. Almost all of us are at the church events, but it's somewhat awkward. Sometimes we've wondered why we are there. The young are looked to serve as everyone else does, but for some reason, it seems taboo to serve us in any way.
There is no mentoring of the young and single unless we are one of the fortunate ones born into Christian families, which several of us aren't.
Otherwise, anyone unmarried at our church is very much alone in our walk. We are members of a church, but are not quite members of a church community. The other members are not going to change because they are comfortable with things as they are. Every time the issue is brought up, words like "catering" and "pandering" immediately pop up and discussion ceases. At least if we had groups for the 35 and under crowd, there might be some sense of belonging to a church community.
I have served churches where youth group was a church within the church; I have served churches where there was significant multi-generational integration; and I've served some in-between.
There is some correlation to church size on the spectrum above, but it's not a hard and fast rule. As at least one has commented, a larger, programmatic church can be intentional about integrating youth into the full life of the church.
It takes work and intentionality. Murphy rightly challenges the tendency to ghettoize youth or any group! This is not to say there cannot be group meetings, but that the church identity needs to continually be framed and re-framed as "one body" bound together in Christ.
Like worship music, architecture, or any number of areas in the life of a church, there is no magic bullet of sound, light, or program. Rather, whether in a large, medium, or small church - whether , 20, or 3 youth, we must foster a sense of family around the community of the church.
Each size church or program comes with it's own curses and blessings; it's how we understand the church that matters. Thank you, Kate, for a very thought-provoking question. Many things I've been thinking have been said. Two things have not. First, we never consider this problematic concept of "adolescence" within these discussions. We assume the teen years to be a time of "storm and stress" demanding certain ministry approachs.
Second, I wonder if we are too "church-centric". Our conversations always seem to come back to discussing ways to keep youth involved in church. Does the church exist for the sake of the church or for the sake of the world?
My hunch is that youth have disengaged the church because the church has disengaged the world, not because we are lacking "good" youth ministry whatever that is. Jonathan found a connection with someone's deep suffering, and he responded from that place where he knows what it means to suffer. There is much suffering in our world. Young people are aware of it.
If we ignore it, they will ignore us. If we engage it and teach them to engage it, they might just discover what abundant life truly is. Great Post! And before I comment I will confess that I didn't read every single comment as thoroughly as it probably merited, so forgive me on that, but I wanted to chime it ;-. Murphy in that I think that youth ministry and the way we've done it is one of the big reasons that the yr old demographic is missing.
And it's the fault of the adults in the congregation that hire a 20 something or a college student to be the youth minister and then think they've done their job. So yes, from that stand-point youth ministry is killing the church. Really fast, I've got a master's degree from Fuller in Youth Family and Culture and have been in "youth ministry" both as the primary youth leader and then as a diocesan youth leader for over 11 years now on sabbatical.
Kids and teens need connections to non-parental adults in the congregation in order to connect to the congregation as a whole. This doesn't have to be a formalized mentoring "program" I think too often we substitute programs for real community , but it does have to be intentional on the parts of the adults and we have to make sure our kids are safe, harder at larger congregations sometimes.
How we do that is different for every church, and teens need safe places with safe adults to hang out and ask questions and be themselves.
I don't know exactly what this looks like, but I know what it doesn't look like. At coffee hour at the church I'm currently at, I'm the only non-parental adult besides my husband who talks to teens. All too often when I'm engaged in conversation with a teen, an adult will come up, interrupt and then talk to me like the teen's invisible.
I always pull the teen back into the conversation somehow, but then the adult usually leaves. Need young people in your congregation, folks? Start by respecting them just like you would an adult and, oh, shocking! Talk to them. Perhaps the reason for the youth dropout rate from church is that the church service itself is a bad idea, or at very least poorly structured. I was part of an anglican church for many years and before that, a pentecostal church. The Sunday School and youth programs I have been a part of were all interactive.
Bible discussion, prayer, question and answer sessions On top of that the kids could easily take ownership in planning activities, leading worship, or whatnot - it ended up being more of a community with events, instead of events with community. In contrast, the church service limits interactivity to worship in song. It got to the point where even I didn't want to go to church anymore because it was essentially a really boring show. And even the most hip and with it churches have just upgraded the show quality instead of finding ways to actually mentor people.
So why are we surprised when we have trouble getting youth to transition from an interactive environment where they can learn about God to a sit down and shut up environment where they can learn about God when the service is over? Can we patch the old garment with the new cloth? Maybe it would be healthier for the whole church instead of transitioning the kids to participate in the service we transitioned the adults into a more interactive gathering to discuss the things of the Lord, and scrap this whole show format that we tend to call "church.
As a Youth Worker and a mum of two beautiful children I am constantly amazed at the potential of youth. We forget that the Word stated that once we have become believers, young or old, we become brothers and sisters in Christ. The same Holy Spirit in a 50yr old is in a 3yr old. I would like to encourage people to start thinking out of the box My son at 5yrs old was eating mash potato and gravy one night. During the meal he boldly stated that his meal reminded him of Jesus I would respectfully respond, in regard to the youth, that it is a good thing to have a program specifically for the kids.
It does not preclude involvement in the larger church ministry. But kids lives are transformed, and influenced forever, by ministries that focus on their unique needs, likes, dislikes, and interests. Adults have a funny way of "controlling things", and allowing the youth only as much involvement as the adults permit. I've been a pastor for 37 years. And the youth program has always been only a positive thing in all the churches I've served.
I think the article is refreshing, but limited. It does not take in several variables of the problem and makes itself a straw man. One factor, is the gap in time. We don't expect 5th graders to have the maturity of 12th graders. But I know one or two who actually could do pretty well! So to assume that it is a failure if a high school person isn't interested in largely adult ministries in the church is weak premise.
Another factor is that methods over people. I run a ministry similar to the "inadaquate" youth ministry in the article, and yet we had two students who are chalice bearers and one middle school who reads the scripture in our Sunday services. So, I think it is less that I am creating a ghetto, and more that I am looking for people who shine. Also, the big vs small church animosity is hidden in here. Sadly, my mother's small church just lost a family because they did not have good ways to involve the youth.
How much do you expect from a small church pastor? This article is written from a pastor's point of view who was experienced in youth ministry and could recognize the needs. That is a rare quality. Press on! Challenge the boxes we put ourselves in! But be careful not to take one example and throw out an entire ministry with it!
I am also one of those immature youth workers - 45 yrs old : I've been in youth ministry for 25 years. My calling and passion was and is too share and teach teenagers through word and action the Message of God's word.
I hope and pray that I am being faithful to that calling. I have used every tool at my disposal to plant the seeds of the Gospel into the minds of those that God has so graciously has allowed me to minister. Throughout my career, I have or have attempted to involve the youth into the overall life of the church: pray during services, sing solos, play handbells, missions, vacation bible school, fall festivals, and a host of other church wide events, including the once a year youth service.
In my current church it has been fairly successful. But it's not always easy to do. We keep trying, right? In some cases, it might be true that we are "ministering kids out of the church through segregated ministry. But, I don't know of any youth ministers who are discouraging kid's from participating in the life of the church. We encourage them to go to worship services and participate in church wide events.
We integrate as much as we are allowed too. Put simply, I was hired to minister to youth. Because that's what churches and adults not all want. They want someone to speak their "lingo" and to truly minister to them on "their" level, while others just want to be able to worship and study the Bible without having to say, "stop that" or "be quiet" a thousand times.
I'm a parent. I can relate. Some churches want their youth to be seen and not heard, okay maybe once a year: Every other ministry in the church is just as segregated as youth ministry.
It's okay for the adults, but not for the youth. Why do we do that? Everyone is at different levels of development. When we educate, we don't put 1st graders in the same class as college students. Do we need to put everyone into a room together for service? Wait, we already do that. What about the kids that don't want to be there?
But with commitment to the process, hard work and DeVries's guidance, you can put together a healthy youth ministry--one that fits your church and lasts for the long haul. Youth ministry can last. Here's how. Mark DeVries is the founder of Youth Ministry Architects, a coaching service which has allowed him to develop and test the ideas in this book as he has worked together with church leaders and youth ministers.
His books include Family-Based Youth Ministry. This book should be required reading for any search committee that thinks it can solve all youth ministry problems with the next great hire. DeVries reveals how hard work, curiosity and hope make it possible to learn from inevitable failures.
He has done this with passion, with humor, and with a heart that is open and growing toward God. Anyone with a calling to youth ministry should read this book. You must read it because it is the most sane book on youth ministry ever written, and DeVries has a clearheaded sense of call.
While adolescent faith is more than the earthen vessels that contain it, DeVries contends that we need to shore up our organization or the treasure is going to leak straight through the cracks. So he doffs the gimmicks, magic bullets, foolproof programs and lucky hires, and demonstrates how sustainable youth ministry is planned, predictable and productive.
Christ already does his part in youth ministry; it's high time we rolled up our sleeves and did ours. Everyone is talking about it, but no significant solutions are emerging. One thing we know for sure--the ideas we have used for the last twenty years are tired.
We can't fix this by simply doing a great job with a bad idea. This approach is leaving us with flat youth ministries and even more burnt-out youth ministers. Everything is up for grabs.
This is where Mark DeVries comes into the picture. When you make parents a priority, they will make youth ministry a priority. Students can listen for about 7 minutes before they start to tune you out. Speak for a total of 20 minutes, have an activity after the first 7 , and make just one point.
Every youth worker I know that uses this strategy sees more student engagement and deeper learning. Every great youth ministry has one thing in common: adult volunteers love, love, love to be at youth group with each other.
When there is chemistry between volunteers, they support each other, challenge each other, and have tons of fun together. The youth staff that has fun together wins together. This is maybe the most underrated strategy in youth ministry. Having a stuck youth ministry is a choice. You can choose to be stuck and stay stuck by doing the same things year after year or you can make intentional changes to get your ministry unstuck and start growing in the right direction. This program will help you get unstuck and begin growing in the right direction.
We would love to help you.
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