Equality is another super important ingredient in healthy friendships that often gets overlooked when one friend seems to have more say than the other. Likewise, a friend that is naturally timid should challenge themselves to speak up about the things they are interested in doing, like seeing a certain movie or eating somewhere new, without worry of being overruled. In healthy friendships, both friends should be able to make decisions together and compromise without being shut down.
Having compassion is when you are able to be empathetic and genuinely there for your friends on a daily basis and during times of need. An example of what a compassionate friend could look like is if your dog died and your friend came to your side to listen to how you felt in that moment of grief.
In this scenario, the friend was compassionate by being present and listening to your situation and supportive by being there for you. Honesty is a requirement for a strong and successful friendship because, at the end of the day, people usually will be more hurt when the truth is concealed than by the truth itself, whatever it may be. Going to a bar alone can seem intimidating, but if you support a sports team, find out where other fans go to watch the games.
You automatically have a shared interest—your team—which makes it natural to start up a conversation. Making eye contact and exchanging small talk with strangers is great practice for making connections—and you never know where it may lead! We all have acquaintances in our life—people we exchange small talk with as we go about our day or trade jokes or insights with online. While these relationships can fulfill you in their own right, with some effort, you can turn a casual acquaintance into a true friend.
The first step is to open up a little about yourself. Friendships are characterized by intimacy. So, try sharing something a little bit more personal than you would normally. Do they seem interested? Do they reciprocate by disclosing something about themselves? Invite a casual acquaintance out for a drink or to a movie. Lots of other people feel just as uncomfortable about reaching out and making new friends as you do.
Be the one to break the ice. Take the first step and reach out to a neighbor or work colleague, for example—they will thank you later. Carpool to work.
Many companies offer carpool programs. Spending regular time together is a great way to get to know others better and offers the opportunity for uninterrupted and deeper conversation. Track down old friends via social media. Here are some common obstacles—and how you can overcome them. Developing and maintaining friendships takes time and effort, but even with a packed schedule, you can find ways to make the time for friends.
Put it on your calendar. Schedule time for your friends just as you would for errands. Make it automatic with a weekly or monthly standing appointment. Or simply make sure that you never leave a get-together without setting the next date. Mix business and pleasure. Figure out a way to combine your socializing with activities that you have to do anyway. These could include going to the gym, getting a pedicure, or shopping.
Errands create an opportunity to spend time together while still being productive. Group it. Making new friends means putting yourself out there, and that can be scary.
But by working with the right therapist, you can explore ways to build trust in existing and future friendships. For more general insecurities or a fear of rejection, it helps to evaluate your attitude. That's all well and good, but if a potential new friend doesn't see the same joyous charms in you, it's unlikely that anything deep and lasting will come of it. That said, there's no telling when and where a friendship will develop.
Often, they arise from a shared interest or hobby, and people are typically drawn together because they're in the same stage of life, like new parents or retirees. People of similar backgrounds and cultures also tend to come together by bonding over shared lifelong experiences.
Although most of these relationships take time to get really deep, occasionally friendship is more like a lightning strike. Indeed, quality friendships are extremely important to our general happiness. A study in the journal Personal Relationships found that the presence of strong friendships is actually more indicative of overall health and happiness in old age than even family involvement and support!
The benefits of friendship in general, however, are lifelong. Research has shown that people with good friends often feel happier, less stressed and more like they belong than those without. Having a strong network of buddies also increases self-confidence, plus they provide much-needed emotional support during trying times, like illness, loss of a loved one or divorce [source: Mayo Clinic Staff ].
In other words, friendship is wonderful, and much ink has been spilled in citing the virtues of having friends. That's not to say friendship is easy, though. It demands time and effort, and it requires that people put someone other than themselves first sometimes. But in exchange for that work, a friend can provide an immense amount of support and comfort in good times and in bad.
Keep reading to learn more about the various types of friendship. Again, rarely does a person go from virtual stranger to insta-bestie.
It's how trust is built between people — through mutual sharing of increasingly intimate or personal information," says Degges-White. In fact, research has revealed that it takes about 50 hours' worth of face time for a mere acquaintance to become a casual friend, then 90 hours to upgrade to the status of a standard friend. Then, it takes about additional hours of interaction for a "close friendship" to develop!
Before we get into the nitty-gritty of the types of individual friends, it's important to note that we as individuals prefer different types of social structures, according to research published in a issue of the journal Contexts. Tight-knitters tend to maintain a dense social network where everyone is friends with each other; whereas compartmentalizers have multiple cluster groups of friends, which often hail from different time periods in their life or serve different functions, like advice or entertainment.
Samplers have one-on-one friendships, but steer clear of groups [source: Wang ]. According to Degges-White, there are four core types of friendship: acquaintance , friend , close friend and best friend. Acquaintances are easy enough to categorize. They're the people who aren't complete strangers, who you run into regularly at a place like the coffee shop or work cafeteria, but you don't really know.
By contrast, standard-issue "friends" are those that we try to run into or mix with. Lifestyle options, new relationships, and distance may also present a challenge. Studies have shown that the quantity and quality of friendships can impact your mental health. Friendships are important and it may be worth taking care of those bonds. Humans tend to lean on each other for support, particularly in times of need. You may feel the need to reaffirm that you can count on others through the ups and downs of life.
It may also require some action on your part. You can support and lift someone by validating their feelings, reminding them of their accomplishments and positive qualities, and getting them to laugh and have a fun time when they need a break. It may take about hours of spending time together before you consider someone a close friend. While it may be evident that spending time fosters closeness, it can be challenging to find time to socialize, especially between long-distance friends.
You can also help by remembering the small details they mentioned, such as a vacation they had planned or a scheduled job interview. By following up with them, you show that you want to stay up-to-date on the important details of their lives, and they will feel eager to share and stay in touch with you.
Maybe you call them up and vent, or perhaps you ask them for help. How are you there for them? There are many ways to cultivate a connection beyond getting a cup of coffee together or spending time often. It may be helpful to remember that quality trumps quantity. Consider finding unique ways to stay present. Practicing gratitude is a form of mindfulness, and it can improve your mood, self-esteem, and empathy. This extends to deepening friendships as well.
When a friend displays kindness and thoughtfulness, try to express your gratitude for their efforts. This reassures them that you notice their contributions to the friendship.
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